Phil 3:13 “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.”
The Apostle Paul brings up quite a serious point in this passage of Scripture. Nobody is going to get very far down the road to their future, unless they can first get out of their past. Have you ever met people that seem to be stuck somewhere in the past? They somehow don’t seem to have much of a life. Whatever it was that happened way back then, is still just as real to them today and almost controls their lives. They cannot get excited about the day of tomorrow and the hope that we have in Christ. instead they are constantly reliving the pain or trauma of their experiences in the past. This all has a very destructive effect on a person’s life and Satan is well aware of this fact.
I met Jane (not her real name) and her husband through one of the churches in which I regularly minister. They always seemed to be quite a wonderful couple, devoted to one another and blissfully happy. One evening after the service John came to speak with me about something that was really bothering him. I arranged for him and Jane to come and see me at my office so that we could discuss the problem more thoroughly. In the course of our discussion, it came out that Jane was really struggling with feelings of depression and inadequacy. Her self-esteem was almost non-existent and they were battling in their marriage relationship. She really loved her husband and he loved her, yet she never felt that it was enough, as if there was something missing.
Two facts that I learned from them immediately gave me a better understanding as to where a lot of these feelings may be coming from. Family members had molested Jane several times as a young girl and both she and John were previously married. This revealed to me that there were obvious soul ties present in both of their lives that would make it very difficult for them to have a happy and blessed marriage. As I explained to them what soul ties are, they were both quite surprised to learn that these things even existed. Jane had soul ties with the individuals who had molested her as a young girl, as well as with her previous husband. John had soul ties with his former wife, as well as several other women that he had been involved with. Unless these soul ties are dealt with, the person to whom you are tied will still be very much a part of your life. Let’s agree on one point here, marriage between two people isn’t necessarily the easiest thing in the world; you have to work at it! How much more difficult it must be to try and maintain a marriage where there are several people involved at any given time. They brought all of these people before God and forgave them for any hurt that they had caused them, and then we asked the Lord to sever once and for all, the soul ties between them. There was an immediate sense of relief that both of them felt in their spirits as God removed the soul ties and restored their spirits and souls. For the first time in years they were whole again.
What was really happening in their relationship, was that as they were giving themselves to one another, the other person never received the fullness of their giving. The greater part of it went out to the other people that they were tied to. No wonder Jane always felt that there was something missing when John expressed his love to her! To God be the glory that there has been an amazing turnaround in their relationship and that Jane’s life has been restored. For the first time she also feels that the whole molestation thing is now truly behind her and she can go on with her life.
How are soul ties formed?
Gen 2:23-24 “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (KJV)
This verse explains the very first union, or marriage, that took place between Adam and Eve. The Hebrew word for cleave is the word “dabaq” which also means to glue two objects together, or to weld two things together. Thus when we get married God joins your soul to that of your husband or wife and the two of you become one. It is however not just in marriage that this type of soul tie can be formed, as there are also other examples in the Scriptures.
Gen 34:1-3 – 34 “Now Dinah the daughter of Leah, whom she had borne to Jacob, went out to see the daughters of the land. And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, prince of the country, saw her, he took her and lay with her, and violated her. His soul was strongly attracted to Dinah the daughter of Jacob.” (NKJV)
What has really happened here, is that Dinah was sexually assaulted by Shechem and in the process there was also a joining of their souls together. This is not a Godly soul tie as in the formation that takes place within holy matrimony, but is satanic and leaves a doorway for Satan to work through.
Thus it is important to note that sexual relations with other people will cause a bonding of your soul to that person. The way in which God created this universe, there are certain laws that will always remain. Some of them are natural and some of them are spiritual. If you look at the law of gravity, it basically states that what goes up must come down. There is no real way around it. That is the way it will always be. In the same way if you have a sexual relationship with someone there will be a soul tie formed, whether you wanted it there or not!
1 Cor 6:16-17 “Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” 17But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.”
God created us all as sexual beings and at the end of creation, He said that it was good. There are a lot of good things that people use in bad ways. Sex between a husband and wife is a good thing, it strengthens their relationship and builds unity. Sex outside of marriage is however a very different thing. You are no longer using it in the way that God intended it to be used and there will be serious consequences.
The scattered soul
From the day that you and I are born, our souls are looking forward in anticipation to the day that we will be joined to that special person with whom we are to share the rest of our life. This may not be all that relevant to us in our early years, but as time goes on and puberty dawns, you begin to know all about this. Unfortunately it would seem that it has become socially acceptable to live an immoral lifestyle. These days, very few people keep themselves pure for their husband or wife. So you meet a nice girl and soon you have had your first sexual experience. You have also just formed your first soul tie. What seems to be great right now may still come back to haunt you badly in the future! The relationship between you and your new girl really goes well for about three weeks, and then it just seems to fade. No problem, as they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea and you find a new girlfriend. It doesn’t take you long to have a sexual relationship with her, but this is where the complications really start. Your soul responds once again to the spiritual law that causes it to join with this person, the problem being that it is already joined to your first girlfriend! Now what? There is only one way and that is for your soul to split in two. Half is now tied to the first girl, and the other half to the second.
As you can see the more people you have sex with, the more you are also dividing your soul. Eventually you meet your future wife and the two of you decide to get married. If your wife also had many sexual partners before she met you, you are sure in for quite a rocky relationship! All of the people that you have slept with, are still tied to you. Lets move on to the wedding day…
So here comes your wife looking lovely and radiant as a bride and you are standing at the altar waiting expectantly to join with her in marriage and have a happy fulfilled life. If you could see past the natural and see into the spiritual realm, you would see quite a different picture though! Firstly you are not alone. All of your previous partners are right there with you. Your wife isn’t alone either, all of her partners are coming too. Get the picture? There aren’t just two people involved in this relationship; there is a whole busload! Speaking of busses, when was the last time you tried to have an intimate conversation with someone on a noisy bus, when all around you everyone is speaking at the same time? Close to impossible isn’t it? That is the state of some marriages because of all the soul ties that are still around. Both of your souls may be scattered around, making it next to impossible to have a solid relationship.
Breaking the ties
The good news here is that this is not the way things have to be in your life. If you have formed ungodly soul ties, you can ask the Lord to remove them and heal you in your soul and spirit of their effect in your life. These ties are often the root of a lot of problems in our lives and could be hiding deep hurts, humiliation, rejection etc. Isaiah 42:3 says that Jesus would never break a bruised reed, so we can bring these hurts before Him with confidence, knowing that He will help us to receive His healing. The first step will be to confess these relationships and ask for forgiveness. Secondly you have to forgive the other person for any hurt they may have caused you. It may also be necessary to get rid of objects that the person gave you, especially ones that signified a covenant between you such as a ring or some other greatly sentimental thing. The following is an example of a prayer that you could pray to receive healing and freedom:
Heavenly Father, I confess to you all of my promiscuous premarital sexual relationships, as well as all sexual relationships outside of marriage as sin. I also confess all ungodly spiritual, ‘soulish’ or fleshly bondage as sin.
I thank you that you have forgiven me and have cleansed me of all unrighteousness through the blood of Jesus. In the Name of Jesus, I ask you to free me from all soul ties with previous sexual partners and ungodly relationships. Holy Spirit, please pull out all these roots and tentacles of sexual bondage. Cut off the roots of the tree, the emotional dependencies, lusts and addictions. I now wield the sword of the Spirit and cut off the soul ties between me and the following people…
Father I pray that you will take away all memories that I have of these ungodly unions that I may be free to give my soul fully to you and my partner. Father I accept your forgiveness for all past sexual sins and I believe that I have been totally forgiven and that I am cleansed of all unrighteousness. I now dedicate myself to you. Please keep me holy in soul, spirit and body by your grace. To you belongs all the honour and the glory in Jesus’ name.